How to Help Yourself and Help Anxiety

The ‘self help’ world has become a world renowned phenomenon and infamous on the Internet, book shelves and TV. Even the term ‘self help’ conjures up an image of airy fairy rubbish, please ignore this because if you take it at face value its just of way of helping yourself and what is wrong with that? Life is so short that we need to enjoy it to the full and just get things done that will make us happy. The aim of helping yourself is to reach that level or confidence where you accept yourself; who you are, the things you do and the things you want to do so that you grab everything you can with both hands and hits those life goals you have always wanted no matter how big or small. If you have decided you want to do this then you are taking that responsibility over your life which is a brilliant and major thing as not many of do this and that is how we don't move on in life as if we blame others for problems things will never get fixed and this can cause major problems such as anxiety.

It is so common for people to put themselves down, pointing out all their perceived flaws in hope that they will somehow get fixed. However, this will never happen even if you hear the things you want. How many times have you stood their asking if you look fat in that dress or tell people that you have nothing going on in your life and you will never find a partner, win a game of football or get that car you have always wanted? You may get those friends that will say ‘no don’t be silly of course you don’t look fat’ or ‘you have so much going for you’ but you still don’t listen to what they say as the ideas you have in your head have probably been set in motion a long time ago. The only real person that can unlock irrational beliefs is you and not others and the amount you tell yourself about your flaws is more than the responses you receive from people. This will then have a bad affect on you and how you view yourself and the world creating depression, anxiety, fear, low esteem and low or no confidence.

What we have to realise is that most if not all of this behaviour and attitude is something we learn along the way in life. We are not born sad, angry or bored we have no real idea about these feelings but we learn them and even if this is gives you a feeling of no hope this is good news for us all because we learn new things and new behaviours that we want to. It’s just a case of making what attitude you want to take and what will make you happy and make you get the things you want out of life. When you know this you will be able to move forward and help yourself. Accept yourself. Thinking you’re having a ‘fat day’ to thinking you aren’t good enough to apply for that job you always wanted holds you back but by accepting yourself you take yourself as you find yourself and see yourself with a realistic view that gives you foresight. You will be able to see yourself tomorrow, next years and in 10 years doing the things you want to do and you won’t be bogged down with negative emotions and anxiety.

One way of doing this is expressing yourself. Whether you talk to your best friend, your parents, your siblings, your boss, your doctor or yourself start to think and speak about your feelings. What is it that is holding you back and making you feel lost. This can open up a serious can of worms by doing this especially if you consciously do it with honesty and awareness. It can release anger, sadness, frustration, worry and loneliness and lets you see what you really think. If you are one of those people that bottle up or even someone that flies off the handle, expressing yourself is a technique that is something to be learnt as there is a bad way and a good way, but if it opens you up and makes you really look at yourself you are doing it right, if not research it and learn how to do it.

Another positive affect to you accepting yourself is that you build up emotional resilience which in turn builds more confidence in you. You will begin to trust your reactions and bounce back from any problems you face. No one is perfect and this is something we forget especially when we compare ourselves to others or worry about what others think of us. But think about who compares themselves to you, and there will be someone who looks up to you whether it is your daughter, you brother, your work colleague or even that lady in the supermarket there is someone who has thought you are attractive, successful, organised, a good parent, have amazing drive, is well dressed, is intelligent or interesting or maybe all of these. We are all unique and once we realise that we can focus on ourselves rather than others, take control of our lives in a positive way and help ourselves. Yes, we all have our problems but in balance we also have something in us that makes us special. Once you know the trap you can easily fall into you will know to stay away, help yourself and beat anxiety.