10 Easy Steps to Boost Self Esteem and Stop Anxiety

Self esteem is something we need in order for us to lead a life that is happy, healthy and genuine. Self esteem means that we give our life meaning with confidence and belief in ourselves. Unfortunately for many of us our lives are controlled by a feeling of insecurity, doubt and extreme worry of what other people think about us due to low levels of self esteem. However, there are many things we can do to change this, here are 10 tips to getting your life back by increasing your confidence and self esteem bit by bit:

1. Just Ask:

‘If you don’t ask you don’t get’ is a phrase to live by when it comes to getting the things you want. Making asking for things a habit will give you the practice you need to becoming unconsciously confident and once you begin to see the results and gaining the things you need to positively reaffirm what you are doing asking for the things you need, want or would like to know it will become second nature and you will always look to enhancing your future and self esteem.

2. Moving Forward:

It is a very common thing to happen when we have self esteem to dwell on the past and let our failures take control of our future. If you have ever been through such things as a bad break up, miscarried a child, lost a job, fallen out with a friend or been in debt you have experienced a negative aspect of life that can be hard to come back from if you have low self esteem. Life can be hard there is no denying this and when small things add up or something big happens to you sometimes there seems no way out. However, it does not have to be this way.

We forget that there is a whole future ahead of us and how we deal with one thing will reflect how we deal with things in the future. This is why it is so important to move on from anything bad that happens in your life and even though sometimes it is hard you have to push yourself little by little towards something positive.

3. Work On It:

Self esteem is something that you do have to practice. For some of us we believe that there are those that are lucky and those that are not, there are those who have everything going for them in their life and are confident and there are those that will just always fail and be a shrinking violet in the background. This is not true. Yes, there are these people in life but it is not something that is predetermined by any means. People make their own luck, it is as simple as that. So, if you think positive, positive things will happen. Each day do something that will help you gain that extra layer of confidence and make you feel good about yourself.

4. Positive Energy:

To build your self esteem, negative vibes and environments can have a detrimental affect on you, especially whilst you are developing and gaining strength to deal with the things in your life. Although it is impossible to avoid everything negative in your life you can take your self out of certain situations and/or embrace the situations using it to be something positive as it is a challenge.

Negatives are something necessary for a balanced perspective, you can still try to avoid negativity when possible. If you do not enjoy work talk to your manager to see what can be done, if you are in an abusive relationship speak to someone who can help you, if you have a child who just cannot seem to behave go to your doctor, your family or your friend and see if they can help or if you have a friend who puts you down in some way then take time away from them and hang out with those who have a positive influence on you.

5. Look It Up:

Research everything about self esteem, confidence, support groups etc in your local area, speak to those you trust, go to your doctor if necessary about anything that you think is affecting your life. You might have gone your whole life thinking that feeling down everyday, not coping with life’s day to day routine, being aggressive, worrying what others think, shying away from challenges or having panic attacks is just part and parcel of being you; that its natural and cannot be changed. This is untrue.

We can change once we have the knowledge of how to change it. Write down all the things you think are holding you back; thoughts, feeling, emotions, people, situations, work, family or friends can all be things that you think are holding you back in life and make you feel lost and hopeless. This may be true to some extent but what you need to realise is that it is you that has the power to change it, if you don’t like your life you can do something about it.

6. Action Plan:

Take time out of your life and look at it, really look at it. What is it that you want to make better? What is it that will make you happy? And what is it that you know you can do to change it? Write down an action plan that will guide you over a certain time with small and large milestones on it that will not only motivate you but grow your self esteem as you go along, you will be achieving the things you never thought possible.

7. Reward System:

Self development and improving your self and life is no mean feat. You will never increase your self esteem if you do not reward yourself. We naturally respond to incentives and there is nothing wrong in this. You have to feed you mind and body with positive affirmations to motivate you enough to continue and feed that self esteem and confidence ‘tree’. Set yourself goals in realistic time scales and when you reach them treat yourself to something you like to do: A night out with the girls doing something special, pamper yourself, go on holiday, have a glass of champagne, take some time out with a good book and bobble bath. It can be anything that you know you will love and will be good for you to do, reemphasising what you have achieved and why you should continue to boost that self esteem.

8. Face Your Fears:

This can be a hard thing to do no matter what your fear is: Going out shopping, driving on the motorway, staying home alone, going to a pub by yourself, dating again, starting a family, leaving your partner or even spiders. What we need to know is you can change your perception of any of these and more by these by facing them.

It does sound like a cliché to say face your fears but it is a cliché for 1 reason; that it is true. Exposure therapy is something that is commonly used and really does work as long as it is controlled and taken in small steps. Whatever your fear you can change the way you think by standing up to them.

9. Talk It Over:

Talking things over with people can really have a huge effect on your self esteem. No matter who you talk to; your family, children, best friend, doctor, therapist, support group or counsellor. The fact that you can and are willing to open up to someone is something that we can take for granted. Being open and honest with yourself can be tougher sometimes but talking things through and getting that reassurance from the people you trust can help you adjust your thinking and improve the way you communicate with others and react to people, giving you the confidence to

10. Friends:

Friends should be a huge part of life and we should all be grateful for them everyday. Having a network around you gives a huge boost of confidence as it will for them. If you are reading this and you feel you really do not have anyone in your life that meets this criteria have a think again; who is the person you call the most or that calls you the most? Who is it you think of when you are in trouble or are feeling down? And who is it that you miss the most when you don’t see them? If you cannot think of anyone you do not have to worry as it is something that you can use as a goal to find that support and be a support to someone you love and if you do have that around you really look at them and be thankful for what you have as this will give you that energy you need to find the positives in your life.

Anxiety and self esteem are closely linked and create a vicious circle if one or both factors are at a level that affects your life in a negative way. So by boosting your self esteem and getting that confidence to battle life you will also get the confidence and tools to battle anxiety and stop that worry of what others think about you in such a way you will take your life, anxiety and confidence and do the things you want to do.